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JEEP CHIEF HISTORY
The JEEP is symbolic throughout the military for two things. First, the
JEEP is considered one of the lowest forms of transportation in the
military, ranking just above the combat boot. Second, for years, the
JEEP has symbolized newly assigned or newly promoted personnel.
In maintaining this deeply rooted tradition, the McClellan Park Chief's
Group presents a JEEP to the chief who is brand spankin' new, and has
absolutely no time-in-grade. Possession of the JEEP indicates the bearer
of said JEEP is in upgrade training, and may on occasion revert back to
the ways of a young brave, who lacks the wisdom of an experienced chief.
During this time the young chief is called The JEEP Chief by his or her
peers, and will be called JEEP Chief until a new chief is promoted into
the rank.
Once a JEEP Chief has been identified, he or she must adhere to nine
sacred rules. These rules become effective immediately upon presentation
of the JEEP, and the custodian of this ancient artifact must comply with
these rules completely. Any deviation from these rules will be viewed as
irresponsible conduct, and a $10 fine will be levied upon the JEEP Chief
for each deviation: It has been proven that the $10 fine greatly
enhances the learning ability of a "chief-in-training." For accumulation
of fines of $20 or more: In lieu of monetary payment, the JEEP Chief may
volunteer as lead chief for the next Chiefs' Group project.
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RULE OF THE JEEP CHIEF
Rule # 1: The JEEP
Chief is solely responsible for the condition of the JEEP. The JEEP must
be kept intact, clean, and serviceable. A broken JEEP would illustrate a
lack of readiness, and a dirty JEEP is evidence of a dirty mind.
Rule # 2: The JEEP shall accompany the JEEP Chief whenever said
Chief is in uniform, throughout the duty day, and to all official
functions, regardless of the time or day of that function's occurrence.
This will comfort the young chief during their transition into
high-level decision making, and ensure adequate JEEP security while away
from the office.
Rule # 3: The JEEP shall be displayed in a place of honor and in
plain view. Plain view is further defined as a location where all who
enter the JEEP Chief's office can see the JEEP. Lockers, desk drawers
and cabinets provide exceptional security; however, they are not
considered places of honor, and are not suitable for storage of this
National Treasure.
Rule # 4: The JEEP will not be drilled, bolted, glued, welded,
handcuffed, or affixed in such a manner that would prevent its theft.
Rule # 5: Never leave the JEEP unattended, for this would provide
the opportunity for a chief, and only a chief, to steal this most
precious symbol. Retired chief master sergeants are still chiefs and may
likewise steal the JEEP whenever opportunity presents.
Chief selects, otherwise known as senior master sergeants, and are not
yet worthy of JEEP possession. The wily chief who steals the JEEP need
only report the theft to a Chiefs' Group executive officer in order to
officially sanction the fine. The JEEP is always returned to the JEEP
Chief upon their request. If someone other than a chief steals the JEEP,
it will be returned with no fine assessed.
Rule # 6: If the sacred JEEP is stolen, and not immediately
returned or retrieved, the JEEP Chief must scramble in search of this
stolen treasure. The JEEP Chief must fetch the JEEP, regardless of
location, and retrieve it prior to 2359 hours that day to limit their
liability to $10. If the JEEP is not retrieved that day, the wily chief
who executed the theft, will contact the JEEP Chief the following day to
advise of time and place for retrieval: The JEEP Chief will be assessed
an additional $10 ($20 total fine) for this most egregious violation.
Rule # 7: The JEEP Chief will render all fines assessed to the
Chiefs' Group by the first payday following the day of theft or
violation. Payments may be made by cash, check, or money order. Payment
by allotment is advised if the JEEP Chief is assigned to a unit with an
abundance of chief master sergeants.
Rule # 8: The JEEP Chief will maintain custody of the JEEP during
the entire promotion month. If more than one JEEP Chief is identified
for promotion at the same time, they will share possession of the JEEP
in equal measure for the month. Date-of-rank to Senior Master Sergeant
will determine the order the new chiefs possess the JEEP: The most
junior in that previous rank will be first to possess the JEEP.
Rule # 9: The JEEP Chief will display pride in ownership of the
JEEP. The JEEP Chief will view possession of the JEEP as a golden
opportunity to excel, and will make one improvement to this sacred
symbol. This improvement will be completed by the end of the promotion
month. IF, the improvement is acceptable to the Chiefs' Group then, and
only then, will the JEEP Chief complete the rite of passage into the
final frontier as a Chief Master Sergeant.
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